The Democratic Party chooses Tom Perez as its chairman

THE SCENE: The Democratic Party has driven its car into a ditch. The party members climb out and try to figure out the best way to get it out.

THE PARTY: “With our current leadership at the wheel, we have lost control of most of the states, both houses of Congress, the White House, and we’re on our way to losing control of the courts.”

PASSERBY: “None of my business, but maybe y’all should have somebody else driving?”

THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY: “No thanks, we’re good.”

February 25, 2017

I bought a new jacket last week that I like very much. It makes me look so badass I may be called on to thwart a terrorist attack single-handed.