February 21, 2017

I’ve never been much troubled by insomnia until nearly two weeks ago, when I started having vicious trouble sleeping. I found a solution — this time around at least — a sleep mask. Julie got it from an airline. It’s got a Tumi brand on it, but I don’t see it for sale online anywhere. It’s nothing special, just a mask that fits comfortably on my head and blocks out the light.

I didn’t think I was bothered by ambient light, but with that sleep mask on damn I get the deepest sleep I’ve gotten in years.

I already wear earplugs to bed. Julie and I both do; we both snore like wood chippers. And I started wearing a nightshirt a couple of years ago on a whim and found I like it. So now the sleep mask completes the ensemble.

February 17, 2017

I just found out one of my oldest and closest friends has passed away. I was best man at Ross Greenberg’s wedding.

His relationship and mine was complicated. He was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in the mid-1990s. It progressed at a moderate pace, and left him completely paralyzed and in a nursing home. As I understand it, he was divorced and alienated from his immediate family.

After he entered the first of his nursing homes, he pushed me away as well. He was in Atlanta and I in California, and so I did not have an opportunity to see him in person. He stopped responding to my emails and phone calls, and I stopped trying.

Over the past few months he seemed happier, and we corresponded by email again in a friendly fashion. I even began thinking about trying to arrange a trip to Atlanta to see him.

As the saying goes in these kinds of situations, I believe his death was a release and a blessing.

I like to think of him now as he was when we were both around 30 years old and he was outwardly healthy. We were a couple of single guys with all our hair, tomcatting around Manhattan. In my imagination, he is now as he was then.

He was a prickly son of a bitch and fiercely intelligent. He grew up middle class, became wealthy for a while (you’ve heard of anti-virus software? Ross invented it), and died in poverty. I will miss him terribly.

February 17, 2017

Mentioned to my Uber driver that I was worried about being late for my meeting and suddenly the little round guy is Steve McQueen in Bullitt.