Doing a Google image search on “dog memes” is extremely satisfying
Welcome home
So….
Ayn Rand Reviews Children’s Movies
“If Grandpa Joe can dance, Grandpa Joe can work.” www.newyorker.com
Instead of saying hello and goodbye I’m going to say “rock on” from now on.
Me as well
Someone please take away the label maker. pic.twitter.com
— foone (@Foone) January 7, 2019
Snapchat: bitchycodes
Posted by Bitch Code on Friday, January 4, 2019
Poor MarC.
Posted by Analytical Grammar/Grammar Planet on Saturday, January 5, 2019
But that’s not important now.
SON: I was awarded the Leslie Nielsen badge at school
ME: What's that?
SON: A big building with lots of kids
— Hans Grubertron (@HansGrubertron) January 4, 2019
If you say so
Roses are red
Orchids are finer pic.twitter.com— Father Drinks McGee 𖤐 (@drinksmcgee) February 17, 2018
Simple Joy Of Childhood Stolen From Toddler Who Was Just Told He Can’t Touch Own Genitals At Dinner Table
Devastating. local.theonion.com
I ordered a box of crickets from the Internet, and it went about as well as you’d expect
“in every relationship there is the accidental cricket-releaser person and the where-are-all-these-damn-crickets-coming from person, look in your soul and ask: which am I?” [Christopher Ingraham] www.washingtonpost.com
The Programmers’ Credo: we do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they were going to be easy
— Pinboard (@Pinboard) August 5, 2016
some financial tips:
-pay off ur min. credit card payments
-create a budget
-save a portion of each paycheck
-oh none of this working? then it’s heist time baby
-get the gang back together
-one last job, then u can all retire
-u did it!!
-but at what cost? rick died in the heist— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) December 2, 2018
I dropped a bottle of cologne in the bathroom. Now my bathroom smells good and won't stop asking me how I'm doin'. 🙄
— Mr. Onederful® (@ericonederful) December 20, 2018
5: You forgot my night-light! It keeps monsters away.
Me: If a monster wants to get you, a 4 watt bulb won't stop him. Good night, Sweetie.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) September 20, 2016
Now and Venn
He appears chagrined, and justifiably so
me: [snuggled in bed] oh wow this is nice
legs: omg so warm
feet: omg so warm
hands: omg so warm
bladder: hey guys— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) January 8, 2019
Paper is not dead. Funny
It’s always a good time to watch “The Internet is for Porn!”
Unless you’re, y’know, looking at porn at the moment. In which case we’ll wait.
Seems legit
Your superhero name is your credit card number, those 3 digits on the back of your card & the expiration date. Comment below so we can all enjoy.
— Kris P Kreme 🧩 (@krisv_723) April 26, 2018