The Biggest Man in Lilliput

When you’re only six inches tall, even a summer rainstorm is a deadly threat. But that was the least of the problems for the Lilliputian capital city of New Mildendo. When a mob of angry Gullivers threatens, Mayor Yoby has to use his wits to save the minuscule metropolis.

Find out what happens in this funny, satirical short story that brings Jonathan Swift’s classic to the present day.

Here’s an excerpt to get you started:

It rained the morning the mob of Gullivers descended on Lilliput, the kind of fast, driving rain that was typical for summer storms in that country. Rain was a deadly threat to Lilliputians caught outdoors. A few unlucky Lilliputians were pummeled to death by raindrops, or drowned, every year.

But Lilliputians had centuries of experience protecting themselves from rainstorms. They dealt with the threat. They either stayed home to wait out the rain, or commuted through a network of tunnels under the city.

The morning the Gulliver mob descended on the City, Mayor Yoby stayed home in the Executive Mansion to wait out the rain, coordinating weather control by phone. When the weather cleared, he headed in to City Hall.

He rode the public omnibus to work, a long metal tube strapped to the back of a domesticated lizard. He liked to ride the bus. The political bloggers of Lilliput said Yoby’s favoring public transportation was an affectation, an ongoing PR stunt. They were right. But that was only part of it. Yoby just plain liked meeting the people of the city, letting anybody who had something to say come right up to him and say it; riding public transit gave him an opportunity to do that.

That morning, Yoby got an earful from one of his constituents, a dowager complaining about an infestation of ants in her candy store. The knee-high insects were harmless, but they terrified the children, and left their damn smelly pheromone trails all over the premises. Yoby was in the midst of reassuring the woman that the Sanitation Department would get on the problem when the bus driver paged him in a barely intelligible voice on the vehicle’s scratchy public address system.

Yoby excused himself. The bus was packed with Lilliputians, but they shouldered out of his way when they saw him coming. They recognized the mayor.

Yoby was hard to miss, a man with skin the color and texture of a well-worn, favorite boot, a bald, egg-shaped head, and a barrel-shaped body, wearing a sharp business suit. At more than six and a half inches tall, he was a veritable giant among Lilliputians, towering more than a half-inch over most of his fellow citizens.

When Yoby got to the front of the bus, he found two uniformed cops waiting for him, accompanied by the mayor’s chief of staff, Piopo, a handsome, middle-aged Lilliputian woman.

“You’re needed in City Hall,” Piopo said. “Code Rampaging Giraffe. We have a mount waiting for you here to get through the crowds. We must get moving immediately.”

Yoby indulged his only two vices. He lit a cigar and swore.

Buy the ebook and read the rest:

Amazon Kindle

Barnes & Noble Nook

Other formats on Smashwords

3 Responses to The Biggest Man in Lilliput

  1. Pingback: I finished another novel draft | Mitch Wagner

  2. Pingback: Font Porn: Help me choose a cover for my next ebook | Mitch Wagner

  3. Starla says:

    Greetings! I know this is kind of off topic
    but I was wondering which blog platform are you using
    for this website? I’m getting tired of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m looking at options for
    another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *