“Stop telling me I’m ‘beautiful.’ I’m ugly. It’s fine.”

Kristin Salaky, The Washington Post:

I am blessed to be friends with some amazing and strikingly beautiful women. They are generous and kind and when I’ve spoken on this subject before, they’re devastated. But when we go out together, I’m treated by men like an obstacle to get around. Sometimes, guys walks away from me mid-conversation to talk to a better-looking girl. When I write pieces on this subject or even allude to having an opinion online, anonymous Twitter trolls tell me I wouldn’t be so unattractive if I didn’t dye my hair, got a good chemical peel and stopped “eating Oreo’s more than vegetables.”

I’m not the only one to experience this. Attractive waiters earn more tips. Beautiful people get more job interviews, get promoted more quickly and make more money than their unattractive counterparts. They’re even seen as more “morally upright.” Studies have even shown a bias in juries when the defendant is attractive.

This is why the ad campaigns that tell everyone they’re beautiful are so dangerous. They link beauty with worthiness and kindness, doing nothing for the people thrust into the world knowing that simply isn’t true.

Instead, we should teach people, especially women, that their beauty doesn’t define them. We need to teach them that their worth comes from much more than their appearance. We need to stop shopping the narrative that everyone is beautiful (or could be, if they did x, y, z). We need to lift women up to be competitive workers, voracious learners and empathetic people. No matter what they look like.

Stop telling me I’m ‘beautiful.’ I’m ugly. It’s fine.


I googled the author’s photo. She looks fine. Like a normal person. Even pretty in a couple of photos.

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