I’m no fan of hawks. But I respect hawks who personally rush to war, like Andrew Jackson and Theodore Roosevelt. At least they’re risking their own lives for their principles.

And I have a deep and special contempt for chickenhawks like George W. Bush, pretty much all of his administration, and Donald Trump – people who talk boldly about fighting and speak contemptuously about people who are reluctant to fight, but who send other people to fight for them.

The way Donald Trump talks about punishing America’s opponents and punching protesters in the face, I demand that he should be a military veteran with a record of brawling. Instead, he got out of Vietnam because of fallen arches or some silly reason like that which clues any reasonable person that Daddy Trump got Donald a deferment.

I have the same kind of contempt for Cruz and Rubio, who are so eager to waterboard people who might be terrorists. (Or, you know, they might not be terrorists too. You never know. Best to waterboard them, just to be sure.)

On the other hand, John McCain is a goddamn war hero. I voted for Obama over McCain, and I’m glad I did, but I respect McCain’s military record.

Last time I posted a rant like this one some Trump fanboy called me a hypocrite because I don’t have the credentials I demand of Trump and his ilk. That’s missing the point by a mile. I’m no hawk or chickenhawk. I’m a big ol’ chicken. Because I’m reluctant to risk my own precious flesh in combat, I’m reluctant to ask others to do so on my behalf.

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